In two days I will be getting on a plane - well, actually THREE planes, if we're counting, but who's counting? - to go see my parents who are snowbirding it in Arizona. I have never been to Arizona before, so in addition to looking very much forward to seeing my Mom & Dad, I am also excited to see someplace brand new.
I'm going on my own this time, it will be first non-work trip in I can't remember when that I am not taking my children with me. Child A and Little Man will be enjoying the company of their dad for six straight days. Its a funny feeling that I have in my stomach and my brain about the thought of leaving without my children for almost a week. On the one hand, I'm thrilled to have some time without the constant logistics that are part and parcel of being a mom. I'm excited to be paying someone else (through the nose!) to feed my zoo while I'm gone and not be tied to morning and evening feeds at the house. I can only imagine what it will be like to have SIX WHOLE DAYS without their constant bickering and fighting, without the morning hassle, without having to explain to my Little Man as I have to every. single. day. that "No, you are not six yet. You are still five. Your birthday is in September." "NOOOOOOOO MOMMY! I'M SIX!!!!" Six days of no "Child A, will you please get dressed and take your medication?" repeated ad nauseum every three minutes for a half an hour until we have only five seconds left to get out the door on time.
But on the other hand...
I will be experiencing something new and I won't have the Amazon chick's face to watch what her reaction to the new experience is. I won't have running commentary from my Race Car fanatic. I won't have faces to kiss or to wash, songs to sing at bedtime, hugs to give and get. For almost a whole week. As much as I am excited to go, I am sad to be leaving my kids behind. Between now and Thursday you can be assured I will be driving them CRAZY to the point of BEGGING ME TO "STOP IT MOMMY" with the hugs and the kisses.
I think its odd, I never felt this guilty about going on business trips. I missed them like crazy, but in my mind and heart I understand that a business trip is a necessity. I don't want to leave them, but I sort of have to. But this is voluntary, and therefore different, therefore infused with guilt I've never experienced before now. I could have brought them with me, I suppose, but that would necessitate taking them out of school, my parents live in an adult community with no real activities for kids, and the house is small. Am I just making excuses?
