I wish I could say "all moms do it" but we both know that's not true. Maybe you don't do it. I admit it, I do. About once every two or three weeks, we hit the drive through at the Golden Arches and get a couple of Happy Meals -- Cheeseburger, Fries, Apple Juice and a toy. It takes SO little to make them happy. And so I wrestle down the guilt over giving them food that is laden with trans fats and empty calories, I stuff it way down on the ground and stomp on it until it shuts the fuck up. And I look at my offspring, smiling and playing with their new cheapo craplastic toy, stuffing down fries, and I can't help but share a little of their joy.
When I was a kid we would often go to Mickey D's after church. Breakfast if it was early service, lunch if it was second service. I would always get the pancakes. I remember how my plastic fork would go "squeeeee" along that styrofoam carton, and cutting the pancakes was so hard. I can smell the butter and the syrup, and one little packet of fake maple syrup was never enough, not for my sweet tooth. I needed my pancakes DRENCHED. I wasn't a huge hamburger fan, but my brother? He could eat four Big Mac's without stopping to take a breath. I swear he had hollow legs. He'd eat his burgers and fries and be begging my mom for more.
And remember the hot apple pies? Oh my goodness. Warm, ooey gooey dripping apple filling. THE BOMB. Chocolate milkshakes, better for dipping french fries than ketchup.
I can still hear the old commercials with the Big Mac jingle: "Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!" I must have been six or seven when KJR radio in Seattle had a contest. Call in and say the jingle in less than ten seconds and you could win a coupon for a free Big Mac. It was the first time I ever called a radio station. I was so excited, and I rattled that jingle off like a pro. I practiced it so many times for the call that I can still, to this day, repeat it perfectly in less than ten seconds. My brother and I both won our Big Mac coupons. I felt like such a grownup.
I do give my kids healthy food as often as I can. I buy organic milk even though its expensive and it hurts my budget. I try to get foods with as few ingredients as possible and ingredients that I can pronounce. I sneak vegetables into the spaghetti and if I can't afford free range meat (I often can't) then we'll eat veggie burgers. We eat lots of yogurt and fruit. But there are still some things I give them because a) I know they'll eat them and b) they are quick and easy to make. Chicken nuggets, frozen pizza. I mitigate the nuggets by given them baked sweet potato fries, and the frozen pizza? Meh, its once a week. Its got four food groups. With the behavioral issues, I limit the artificial ingredients and dyes as much as I can. (I remember fondly the cupboard rampage I went on when I learned about the evils of Red Dye #40. We had nothing left. Its disgusting how many snacks and food products marketed to children contain it. The fruit roll-ups, the fruit snacks. FYI, if you want some healthier options, Clif makes a fruit twist that doesn't have any artificial stuff in it, the kids love those, and Tree Top makes fruit snacks that are only from fruit and don't contain any dyes)
Being consistent, however, with my belief that all things must balance, there are going to be McDonald's nights. We had one last night. I picked up the Little Man and he was having such a bad day. The rug burn he got on his elbow last week was all weepy and red and it turned out he'd been picking at it all day and then freaking out when it would start bleeding again. (He is completely and totally my genetic copy; I have never in my life been able to leave a scab or a hangnail or anything bumpy alone. I pick and pick at them until it seems as if they will never heal. He does the same, except he comes so unglued at the sight of his own blood that he can ruin days at a time over one big scab.) I felt so bad seeing his little tear-stained face that before I knew it I was turning into the drive through, ordering two bags of grease, salt, junk and toys to give my son something happy to think about.
He went to sleep holding the little Star Wars lander that came in the meal. I just can't help but be grateful to McDonald's for making my Little Man happy at the end of a really rotten day. Thanks, Golden Arches. Fast Food may be the devil, and if that's so, then I'll dance with the devil. Once in a while.
