I struggle with posting this. It is a controversial topic for some people. It is a sad topic.
I bought Missy as a 'pity purchase' when I bought her daughter Miss B. Her former owners were selling all of their horses, and because I like her so much they asked if I would take her too. She got ridden a little at first, but due to her age and increasing joint stiffness, she's been pretty much a pasture ornament at our place. She's a lovely horse, been everywhere, done everything. Been showed, trail ridden, gamed, taught little children to ride, helped scared adults find their confidence. She's given far more than she ever received in return. Even after I stopped riding her, I'd still spend time with her. We'd have "beauty spa" days, I'd give her a bath and trim her fetlocks and her whiskers and brush her til she was shiny. I'd give her carrots and rub her between the ears.
She's pushing thirty now, and up until last winter she was trucking along mighty well. The winter, though, was a different story altogether. She struggled to keep her weight up. She had a long bout of diarrhea that it took me a month to get sorted out. She's lost her energy, she's listless. Her thyroid is swollen to the size of a large orange. Her flanks are sunken where they used to be rounded. I fed her beet pulp all winter to help her with her weight, gave her supplements and probiotics and carrots and apples and love. I give her butte when her arthritis is acting up so that she can walk. But its time.
The other day when I went to feed the horses she was laying down, which she is doing a lot more of. She struggled to get up, and once she did, she could barely walk. She was staggering, unable to lift her feet more than a little bit off the ground. Walking around usually loosens up her joints, but increasingly it takes longer and longer for her to have any comfort. When I watch her I can see that she is in pain. Today, thanks to a dose of Butte, she's moving better, but the look in her eyes tells me that it is her time.
Saturday she will get an extra big breakfast of grain and treats. She will have some Butte to help her be comfortable. I will love on her, give her a good brushing and comb out her mane and tail. She will then take a trailer trip to a farm not far from here where she will be lovingly euthanized and buried. We will never forget her.
This is a tough year at my house for losing animal companions.
I will second guess this as long as I live. I can't say any more. There is more to be said, I just can't say it. Its too hard. I'm sorry.
