Count me among those who find ADHD to be a positive force. So many things about me that I have learned over the years to be true assets are gifts from my ADHD. I get things done. Lots of things. I manage multiple competing priorities and countless tasks seemingly at the same time. I sometimes feel as if I never stop doing something. Even if my body is motionless, my mind is awhirl. I can multitask the bejeezus out of things. I can fold laundry while eating dinner while talking to my mom on the phone while buckling my daughter's bicycle helmet while watching reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The stark beauty that ADHD has brought to my life leaves me arching my eyebrow and cocking my head to the side at those who consider it to be a "disorder."
I realize that for many people ADHD can be crippling. For those who successfully learn to live with ADHD, though, its like harnessing a tornado and using it to power the state of New York.
Long before I learned that my behaviors were actually symptoms I created coping mechanisms. I'll often read books about living with ADHD and find myself thinking, "Yes, I already do that. And that. And that. That too. Tell me something I DON'T know!" I make lists. I use multiple calendars. I write notes to myself. The most important note is the one on the door to the garage that reads "DID YOU TAKE YOUR MEDS TODAY?" Believe me, its stopped me in my tracks more than once.
But I forget things. Constantly. I forget about meetings, appointments. If I forget to put it in my calendar right at the moment I make it, its gone. Thank God for my blackberry.
Having children with ADD and ADHD taught me that I needed to get even better at this gig, because my kids are looking to me to teach them strategies to manage their lives and their behavior.
Some of the things that I find most helpful:
1. Keep a central calendar.
Some people have calendars for work and for home and are able to remember to do things from two reference points. I find it works best for me to put everything that needs remembering on one calendar and then to find ways to get that information to follow me wherever I am. The Lotus Notes calendar at my office is my primary calendar. It is synchronized to my Blackberry, which I carry with me wherever I go. When I make a new appointment, I put it in my blackberry, which adds it to my calendar at work. To keep some things private, I also keep a Google calendar, but the beauty of it is that I can set my Lotus Notes calendar to retrieve all the information from the Google calendar and display it with everything else. Oh God, do I love technology.
2. Make your calendar work for you
One of the hardest things for me is to remember to do recurring tasks. Dental appointments, vaccines, flea treatment for the dogs, worming the horses are extremely difficult for me to remember. Time has almost no spatial value for me, and so I rely on my calendar to tell me that its time to take care of things. Having a PDA that is synched to my calendar means my reminders follow me wherever I go. I put in repeating appointments for things like vaccines, dental appointments, worming. Garbage days. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Then I set my calendar to give me a reminder minutes, days or hours prior to the event. For my kids' birthday parties I created events in Google Calendar and I sent invitations to myself via email.
3. Organize your personal space
Like many people with ADHD and processing disorders, a cluttered environment means cluttered thinking. I can't concentrate when my house or desk are messy, so I set aside time at least once a week to file, put things away, and organize the things that need to be handled into a central location where I cannot overlook them. "Out of sight out of mind" applies - if it needs to be taken care of, I have to make sure it stays in view or it will be forgotten. What has been set aside to be handled must also be prioritized. Sometimes I will use labels or sticky notes: "DO TODAY" "Deadline is next Friday." I tackle big projects in fifteen minute increments. I just emptied the garage of all of the things my ex had stored in it, so I'm taking it one section at a time. I mostly hate the Fly Lady for insisting that I put on pants and shoes every day, but for giving you tips on cleaning a room, she's the bomb diggety. The Fly Lady method of room cleaning:
- Pick a room to declutter
- Have three boxes: Put away, Throw Away, Give Away
- Set an egg timer for fifteen minutes
- Anything that does not belong in that room goes in a box, everything that does belong there gets put where its supposed to go. If you haven't used it in six months, it goes in the Throw Away or the Give Away box, if it belongs in another room, it goes in the Put Away box.
- When the timer dings, STOP
- Take the Put Away box and take everything in it to the room it belongs in and put it in its place.
- Take the Throw Away box straight out to the garbage.
- Put the Give Away box in the back of your car and the next time you leave the house take it to the Salvation Army or the Goodwill or the Habitat for Humanity or the charity of your choice.
See how easy that is? Love it. Even someone with ADD can do THAT.
4. No open ends
I find that unless I set drop-dead dates for projects and tasks they will remain eternally unfinished. When my boss gives me a project without a timeline, I push back for a "required by" date. Otherwise he might as well have taken that project and tossed it in the garbage can. It would be more likely to get finished that way than be completed by me.
5. Structure is your friend
ADHD has the tendency to make me feel like a bit of a free spirit. My tendency and desire is to follow each whim that touches my soul, and if allowed free reign, I will flit endlessly from one unfinished thought or activity to the next. Once my children were diagnosed I was forced to abandon my wanton ways and build a structure to keep us all from going starkly insane. We have a routine that we follow as closely as possible every day. I try to keep the structure alive even on the days when the kids are with their dad. I have a morning order of doing things and an evening order of doing things. Alarm set for the same time, workout routine, breakfast & coffee, medicine, shower, get dressed, feed animals, leave for work. Come home, let dogs out, clean litter box, feed cats, feed dogs, feed horses, feed chickens and collect eggs. Make dinner, do dishes. Throw in one load of laundry and fold another. Free time until bedtime, which is around the same time each night.
6. Lighting
This is really important, believe it or not. Standard flourescent bulbs in the office and school create a flicker that is detectable by the ADHD brain. It tires me out and makes it very hard to concentrate. I took all of the long bulbs out of the ceiling lights in my office and put in desk and floor lamps instead. It makes my environment far more soothing for my eyes and my brain.
7. Communicate
I know this can be a toughie, but I have always found honesty to be the best policy. I work hard, I'm smart and I'm fast. I can GET THINGS DONE. But I have periods of time where I can't concentrate as well, I lack focus, and I forget things. So my boss is very aware of my condition and when I'm struggling I let him know about it. He in turn gives me some flexibility and understanding, and our agreement is that he lets me know right away - NICELY - if my distractedness or my behavior is a problem. We work together to help me be successful.
My doctors, dentist and child caregivers also all know that I have ADHD. This helps them to be a little more understanding if I'm late or I forget an appointment or a meeting. If I find someone who is intolerant of my ADHD, I change providers to find someone who is.
ADHD makes life challenging, but it also makes life interesting. When I harness the extra abilities that ADHD gives me, I can make it work for me instead of against me.
If you are an adult with ADHD, so can you. If you are a parent of a child with ADHD, you can teach them how to think positively about their condition and how to implement structure into their life in order to be successful.
