Someday when I know how to be a better parent...I'll be one. I won't yell so much. I'll be more patient. I'll stop folding the laundry and enjoy playing hot wheels with my son. I'll let the bathrooms get worse than horrible and I'll make a snowman. I'll worry less about making the bed and more about making cookies with my Amazon girl.
Someday when I know how to be a better friend I'll stop having anxiety attacks when people need to talk for a while and ignore all the other things I think I should be doing. I'll learn to listen better. I'll learn to give more and take less. I'll stop worrying about what people need from me and start thinking about how I can be a better friend to them.
Someday when I know how to set better boundaries I'll stop living in fear, stop making exceptions and stop living a life that doesn't quite fit me. I'll live honestly and lovingly, and that will include loving myself. I'll honor my intuition, and my self esteem won't be dependent on what others think of me.
Someday when I know how to be grateful I'll know how to thank everyone who has been there, who has listened, who has given. When I know how to express my love and appreciation in ways that are meaningful, the people that I love will know just how much I really do...love them. I'll remember to be thankful to my God for all that my life contains, even if its something I don't feel grateful about today.
Someday when I know how to relax, I'll stop fretting over the unwiped counters and the unswept floors, the dust bunnies under the oak hutch and the cobwebs in the chandelier. I'll enjoy reading my book, enjoy relaxing with friends and family, enjoy a few minutes roughhousing with the dogs and just BE.
Someday when I know how to open up, all those things that I've been holding in my heart, afraid of sharing because you would think I'm weak or silly or strange, they will pour out of my mouth and out of my fingers and you will know who I really, truly am. And I won't be afraid of your reaction.
Someday I will know how to do these things.
Until then, I hope they know that I'm trying.
