SG leaves soon to go work in another state for a period of months.
The original plan was that he would be gone October through January, and then maybe pick up another contract for the early spring and be done with those contracts until next fall. But the industry he works in is a little upside down right now, and there is a lot of work and not enough contractors to do it all, so suddenly he's in demand. In a down economy, that's a really good thing. Or so I keep reminding myself as I struggle to force the feelings of loss and anxiety back down into my middle for a while so that I can enjoy this last week or so before he has to leave.
The thing is, I was perfectly fine before I met him. It only logically follows that I will be perfectly fine without him. I'm dancing the mental two-step with myself, with the optimist in me reminding me that there are all kinds of things to keep busy with and that I shouldn't miss out on my life just because I'm on my own for a bit, and the drama queen telling the optimist to shut the hell up and just lay down on the floor and sob. Loudly.
Well, I don't have time for that, do I, what with school starting next week and horses to ride and dogs to walk and chickens to feed and build coops for and children to nurture. No, I don't. When I was younger I thought practicality was such a horrid drag. Nowadays it is very often the only stanchion keeping my sanity from slipping through the cracks. There's a slogan in there somewhere. Practicality - A Useful Tool for Living.
With my best-laid plans blown out of the water, I have but two options: I can sink under the weight of the disappointment, succumb to the dark and depressing thought patterns that circle around me like a pack of hyenas and crawl into bed for the winter. Or I can hug my kids, get on my horse, play with my dogs, live my life, and meet him in Las Vegas when we can both get away to play under the bright lights and maybe get our relationship formalized by an Elvis impersonator.
The second option is always best.
