Just because your husband leaves you a voicemail that says he's heading home shortly and by your most generous calculations he will be home by dinner doesn't mean he actually will be.
If no one else will eat the tomato pie, you probably shouldn't either. You might end having it come out of you in the form of hot lava for the better part of the following morning.
Just because you've had the same crappy Blackberry with the cracked clitoris (isn't that what those buttons are, really?) for three years don't assume you're going to be on the replacement schedule sooner than the guy who's only had his for a year plus two months. You haven't been cultivating the IT department like you should.
Don't wait until the betta fish starts swimming sideways to clean the tank. It is much less traumatic to keep the current fish alive than to live through the waterworks and wailing when you have to replace her. Apparently it is possible to LOVE a fish.
Even though your enormous rottie mix is completely gentle when playing with your Chihuahua does not mean he will extend the same courtesy to your cat. Or your chickens.
Never ask your kids what they want for dinner. Tell them what they're having and then become selectively deaf. Its louder but it saves you an hour when you don't have to cook three separate meals.
If your dog asks you to go outside at three o'clock in the morning, let him. Opening the door to let him out and then back in again takes less time than cleaning up the massive pile of vomit he'll leave next to your new pair of shoes.
Your husband has learned nothing from the last thirty times he left the water on and flooded the dry pen.
You - and your horse - are capable of so much more than you know. If you're willing to give the relationship time and trust the guidance of a good trainer, you'll find out just what.
Flooded pasture aside, you know the relationship is forever when you'll let your husband have a look at the ingrown hair...well...THERE. And he actually will without complaining.
Go ahead and drink the really expensive bottle of wine for no particular reason at all. It will taste better and be more memorable than you think.
Life can be really awesome. If you let it.
