I was talking with a friend about how you know you've met the right person.
She related a conversation she'd had with a potential new love interest. She'd asked a pointed sex-related question and had just loved his response. "It was the absolute perfect answer!"
I think back to when SG and I were dating. There were a ton of those moments, and there still are. When you're having a conversation and questions come up - big questions, small questions, silly questions, serious - the answer given can either remind you why this person is the yin to your yang or give you pause about whether you were possibly drunk when you decided to commit.
The interesting thing about it, at least to me, is that where those answers come from tell you as much about your relationship as the answers themselves.
The perfect answer when its spontaneous and unfiltered is a heady thing. Its confirmation that you are compatible. You mesh in ways that make communication easy because in some important areas you believe in the same things. Those answers are the answers that tell you your partner will be reliable in an emergency, that he'll pick the right things to take out of a burning house, that when faced with a deadline and a choice of Valentine's Day presents he'll bring home the one you'll like best.
But there's an even better perfect answer.
The best perfect answer is the one that comes from a place of having gotten to know each other deeply. Its the answer that you will get from someone who understands you, cares about you, respects you. Its the answer that isn't off the cuff, the one where he pauses for a moment and carefully considers his words, then delivers a remark or phrase that lets you know he understands what is important to you. Maybe he's pulling verbal punches or maybe he's stretching an unimportant truth to please you. Maybe he's backing away from an emotionl reaction in order to meet you in a better place. I'm not sure it matters why so much as it matters that it happens.
There are times when I don't get the perfect answer. Sometimes the answer is good enough, sometimes its something I choose to ignore, because you know what in any relationship you aren't likely to be in harmony all of the time. Sometimes its an answer that stings a little bit and you respond in kind. But in the whole, when the perfect answer is there more than its not, when love and care for you shine in the words he speaks and the look in his eyes as he speaks them, you'll know. This is the one.
Never forget, though - perfect answers work both ways. Be as generous in giving them as you are grateful to receive them. Your perfect match deserves to hear them.
