Dear God,
I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you giving people inspiration to create things. For instance, I imagine you planted the notion to create Facebook in the head of one Mr. Zuckerberg. (Unless it wasn't you who did it and it was the devil instead, in which case just don't read the rest of this and forget I ever brought it up. Sorry.)
Thanks to Mr. Zuckerberg's inspired efforts, I no longer have the need for any personal melodrama. My inner child's requirements for satiating her melodramatic tendencies are fully satisfied by experiencing everyone else's drama on Facebook. In fact, I suppose we could go even farther back, God, and thank you for helping Al Gore invent the internet, because let's face it, the petty jealousies and personal problems of billions of people are now available to share online via blogs, Tumblr feeds, Reddit, Pinterest, Instagram, MySpace (does anyone use MySpace anymore?) Twitter and Facebook.
I really appreciate your efforts in keeping all that mess off my porch and limiting it to my computer screen.
You're really great, you know that?
I guess you probably do.
Love,
Me
